Tip: Don’t wallow in sadnesses, says Dr Robert Holden author of Be Happy: Release the Power of Happy in You (Hay House 2009). ‘But do listen to what your negative thoughts are trying to tell you.
How: Address the thought by sitting quietly, taking a few deep breaths and observing it,’ says Holden. Don’t put a positive spin on the thought distract yourself to feel better. ‘Now think of the unhappiness as an internal memo. What’s it trying to tell you? Is it your work? Or is it about having to cook five nights in a row while your partner watches telly? Once you have calmly observed your feelings, it’s easier to act logically towards changing their cause’.
Why: The level of change you’ve been making on The De-Stress Diet can bring up a lot of release and issues you hadn’t realised were there before, particularly as you identify areas in your life that might create barriers to making the level of change you want. This is all a normal part of healthy change. Remember fear, negative emotion and even anger can’t hurt you. In fact, some research shows that if you quietly ‘sit with’ your feelings – however negative or frightening – curiously observing what you’re feeling without judgment, control or doing anything to avoid or suppress them, they may distil and pass naturally in as little as 90 seconds. Use the breathing techniques in chapter 11 Calm for Life to help you find ways to sit with and meet whatever arises with a full, accepting out-breath.
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